So cold...
I pawned my coat, too. It's so cold...
Th-The fire!
There.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Quit screwing around!
What do you think you're doing to my only memento of Japan?!
I don't have any choice!
There's nothing else to burn!
Hand over that raiment, then!
It looks like it would burn better than a tracksuit!
Let go, you shut-in NEET!
Warm me up! Warm me up more!
Whoa, wait!
I can't go on like this.
We have to do something, and fast.
KONOSUBA God's Blessing on this Wonderful World!
Episode 8
"A Loving Hand for Our Party When We Can't Make It Through Winter!"
Our party is poorly balanced.
I'd like a skill that I could use more like a main weapon.
So cold...
All right, we're here.
Listen, Aqua.
I'll say this while I have the chance. Don't throw any fits, you hear?
Hey, what're you talking about?
What do you take me for?
I'm no hoodlum or outlaw.
I'm a goddess, a bona fide deity!
Hey! Are you listening to me?
Wait! You should listen gratefully when a goddess speaks!
Welco—
It's you, you damned undead!
You opened up a shop here?
I'm sleeping in a stable,
and you're running a shop?!
You're pretty full of yourself, for a lich!
I'll burn this shop to the ground in the name of God—
Ow!
Kazuma-san!
Yo, Wiz. It's been a while.
KONOSUBA!
Do you not even serve tea at this shop?
Oh, I-I'm sorry!
I'll bring some for you right away!
I see she hasn't changed.
Her name is Wiz.
She may look like an ordinary human, but she's actually a lich.
She's a ruler of the undead, also known as the "No-Life King."
Although Wiz is a lich, she's a kind girl.
Every night, she'd send spirits wandering the graveyard home to Heaven.
Through various circumstances,
we took up that job in her stead
and ended up letting her go, but...
H-Here you go.
It's delicious.
You set up a shop even though you're an undead,
and you prepare warm tea even though you're an undead...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
The likes of me shouldn't live in such luxury!
Stop acting like a spiteful sister-in-law.
Wiz, I have some spare points saved up.
Could you teach me a skill?
Hey! What are you thinking, Kazuma?!
I can't possibly overlook a goddess's attendant learning a lich's skills!
Who're you calling an attendant?!
Listen. Liches love gloomy, dismal places.
The whole lot of them are basically related to slugs!
Th-That's terrible!
But people normally can't learn lich skills, right?
I was thinking it could be
a great asset in battle if I could learn skills like that.
Um...
Did she say "a goddess's attendant" earlier?
That's right.
I am Aqua.
Yes, the goddess Aqua, worshiped by the Religious Order of Axis.
Renounce yourself, Lich!
Hey, Wiz. There's no need to get so scared.
No, it's...
There are lots of crazy people in the Axis sect,
and it's common knowledge that it's best not to get involved with them,
so when I heard that she's the head goddess of the Axis sect...
What did you say?!
Curse you! This is what you get!
I'm sorry!
This conversation isn't going anywhere.
KONOSUBA!
By the way, I heard you defeated Verdia-san.
His skill with the sword was supposed to be quite impressive,
even among the other leaders,
so that's quite amazing.
You sound as if you knew Verdia.
Oh,
that's because I'm one of the eight leaders of the Devil King's army.
Got you!
Wait! Please wait, Aqua-sama!
I beg of you! Please listen to what I have to say!
I did it, Kazuma!
With this, all my debts will be forgiven!
In fact, I should get change back!
Hey, Aqua, at least hear her out.
Listen, as an adventurer, I obviously can't overlook you
saying you're a leader of the Devil King's army...
You've got it all wrong!
I was asked to maintain the barrier that protects the Devil King's castle!
Of course, I've never once caused anyone any harm,
and you won't receive any bounty for defeating me, either!
I don't really get it, but I'll eliminate you, just in case.
Please wait, Aqua-sama!
KONOSUBA!
So you're saying
we can open the path to the Devil King's castle by defeating all of his leaders.
Is that right?
Yes, yes! That's correct!
That's what the Devil King asked of me!
He said he wouldn't stop me from quietly managing my shop in a human settlement,
but only asked that I maintain the barrier as one of his leaders.
So, as long as you're around,
humans can't invade the Devil King's castle?
Kazuma, let's eliminate her.
Wait! Please wait!
Please at least let me live a little while longer!
I still have something I need to do.
I could easily break a simple barrier...
But she's a lich, so let's eliminate her.
Please wait!
Now, hang on.
Even if we broke the barrier right now,
we can't defeat the Devil King at our current levels.
It'll just end in us being beheaded.
Okay, fine.
Th-Thank you very much!
But are you okay with this?
You don't resent us for defeating Verdia or anything?
It's not as though I was particularly close to Verdia-san or anything.
Whenever I would walk around...
Whoops!
My hand slipped!
He was the sort who would often roll his own head down by my feet
and try to look up my skirt.
Strike! In so many ways, a total strike!
Besides,
I believe my heart is human, even now.
Here I go! Hi-yah!
Okay, then, I'll teach you one of my skills.
It's the least I can do to repay you for letting me go before...
What's wrong?
Um...
All of my skills can only be used on an opponent.
Aqua, sorry, but would you do it?
What skill is an undead planning to use on me?
W-Well...
How about "Drain Touch"?
It's a skill that absorbs an opponent's health and magic,
and can then distribute that power to others.
I see. Depending on how it's used,
it might be able to compensate for our party's lack of firepower.
O-Of course,
I'll only absorb a very small amount.
Fine. Absorb as much as you can.
Go right ahead.
It's getting hard to tell which is the lich and which is the goddess.
O-Okay,
please excuse me.
Huh? H-Huh?
Come on, what's the matter?
Aren't you going to absorb my magic and health?
H-Huh?!
Ow!
Hey, Kazuma, don't interfere!
This is a battle between a lich and a goddess!
You think I'll let her absorb my strength that easily?!
Look, we're not getting anywhere, so let her absorb it!
KONOSUBA!
All right...
Acquisition complete!
U-Um, Aqua-sama?
It's all right. You can let go of my hand now.
Actually, when you touch me, it sort of makes my hand tingle,
so I'd appreciate it if you would let go.
A-Aqua-sama?
Um, my hand is starting to burn...
Aqua-sama, I'm going to disappear! I'm going to disappear!
I'm disappearing!
Ow!
What are you taking advantage of the moment to do?
You're so mean...
Is it just my imagination, or does Wiz look kind of see-through?
Excuse me!
Is Wiz-san here?
KONOSUBA!
This is the place?
Not bad! Yes, not bad at all!
This should be a fitting place for me to live!
This was originally some aristocrat's villa, I hear.
But the landlord certainly is generous, allowing us to live here as
a reward if we can exorcise it.
Wiz is apparently known as a famous magician in our city,
so people often bring cases like these to her.
With this, we can make it through the winter without worry!
Like they say, "make the best of a bad situation."
Nothing less from me!
But according to the landlord, spirits reappear instantly,
no matter how many times they're exorcised.
Leave it to me!
I'm a goddess and an arch priest!
You could call me an anti-undead expert!
I see it. I see it!
There was a child born
in this mansion to an aristocrat who made a move on his maid, partly in fun,
and that illegitimate child was confined here.
The aristocrat had a weak constitution, and when he died from illness,
the mother of the illegitimate child went missing, as well.
The girl remained in the mansion and succumbed
to the same illness as her father, passing away at a young age,
lonely and alone, without ever knowing her parents' faces.
I really want to ask how you know the setting in such detail...
That'll take care of the cleaning for now.
We've decided the room arrangements, and we've carried in our luggage,
so all that's left is to wait for nighttime.
No surprise that it's a little dusty... Huh?
The girl's name was Anna Filante Estheroid.
Her favorite things were stuffed dolls and tales of adventurers' journeys.
But don't worry. This spirit isn't a bad girl.
Whoa!
She may be a child, but she appears to like things that are a bit grown-up.
She enjoys sweet, hard drinks—
Okay, everyone's free to do as they please from now on.
Call out as soon as an evil spirit shows up.
Dismissed!
This is great!
Having my own room is a wonderful thing!
I'm sure the evil spirits will be gone by morning.
Knowing Aqua, she isn't the type to let evil spirits
do whatever they like in her own house.
She is an arch priest and goddess, after all.
What?!
What's wrong? Hey, Aqua, what happened?!
Are you all right?
Kazuma!
Hey.
This is super expensive alcohol that I've been saving.
I was looking forward to taking leisurely sips of it after my bath...
But when I came back to my room, as you can see,
it was empty!
I see. Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow.
This is the work of evil spirits!
I'm going to go look around the mansion
and strike down any spirits that catch my eye!
Show yourselves!
Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
Nature's Beauty!
Turn Undead! Turn Undead! Turn Undead!
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Whoa, scary!
Huh? Was there a doll like that in this room?
It can't be!
A clichéd development like this can't be happening!
Aqua! Aqua-sama!
Scary! Scary! This is super scary! What is this?!
Aqua! Save m—
Don't scare me like that, Megumin!
I nearly wet myself.
I'm the one who should be saying that!
Why did you come barging into this room?
I thought Aqua was coming back.
I could ask you the same. Why are you in Aqua's room?
Well, there were dolls moving around all over the place...
So, um, I was going to have Aqua protect me...
and thought we could go to the bathroom together.
You, too?
Aqua's probably still out exorcising spirits in the mansion, isn't she?
Is she? I'm sure Darkness is with her, then.
Yeah, despite how she is, she's a crusader.
Hey, Megumin,
look over there and cover your ears for a minute.
I'm going to borrow your veranda for a—
Hey, what are you doing?
Let go.
If you don't, my pants and the carpet in this room are going to be in big trouble.
I won't let you.
How can you try to relieve yourself alone?
Aren't we allies?
Wherever we go, bathroom or otherwise,
we go together!
Let go!
Don't emphasize our bond as allies only at times like these!
Didn't you say crimson demons don't use the bathroom?!
If you want, there's an empty bottle lying over there!
You just blurted out something outrageous!
Now, do it! Give it a try! Go pee!
What are you suggesting I do with that empty bottle?!
I won't let you!
I can at least shake you from behind
while you're taking of your business—
KONOSUBA!
Kazuma, are you there?
I'm here.
Are you really there?
I am here!
You're really, really there for me, right?
I'm here!
I'm right here, and I won't leave you, so hurry up and go!
Um, this is a little embarrassing,
so could you sing a song or something in a loud voice?
Why do I have to sing in the middle of the night, in front of a bathroom?!
Hey, Megumin, hurry up!
Please don't rush me like that!
I know you're in a tough spot, too!
It's true that both our bladders are in a tough spot,
but we've got a bigger problem closing in!
I can't go if you rush me like that!
It's no good!
I can't wait any longer!
Hurry!
How can anyone have so little common sense?!
You at least got halfway through, so you're fine!
What are you talking about?
Crimson demons don't use the bathroom.
You're saying that now?!
I'm already at my limit here!
I thought that might happen, so I brought this.
Please use it.
No, thanks!
I can't hold it anymore.
At this point, I'd sooner use the vase...
Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark,
I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson.
What are you chanting?
You want to blow away this mansion along with them?!
Damn... We'll just have to go for it!
Megumin, once I open the door, run!
I'll use the Drain Touch skill I just learned
and absorb the magic of as many dolls as I can!
Bring it on, you evil spirits!
I'll sic our mad-dog goddess on you all later, damn it!
H-Hey, Aqua, are you all right?
KONOSUBA!
Yay! Yay!
Since you exorcised the evil spirits,
you get a special reward.
This was posted as a kill quest,
but even the guild was bothered
by how new evil spirits settled in, no matter how many were exorcised.
So I hear.
Why did so many evil spirits gather there?
About that...
There's a community graveyard near that mansion, correct?
A community graveyard?
The place where we first met Wiz?
Someone apparently erected a massive barrier as a prank or something.
So the spirits had nowhere to go
and settled in that vacant mansion instead.
Excuse us for a moment.
Hey. You know what's going on, don't you? Spill it.
Yes.
You remember how we undertook exorcising the graveyard in Wiz's stead before?
Uh-huh.
But constantly going all the way to the graveyard was a huge pain.
Uh-huh.
So I figured if I took away their graveyard,
the spirits' home, they would eventually disperse and leave.
So... I... did.
Talk about stirring up trouble and taking the credit!
This is obviously wrong.
We won't accept the special reward from the guild.
Got it?
Yes.
KONOSUBA!
I thought for sure it was all Aqua's wild delusions.
Who would've thought it was all true?
Kazuma-san.
Hello. Are you cleaning the gravestone?
Isn't it great that you've been allowed to live here?
It's a life-saver that the landlord here is such a nice person.
We caused you a lot of trouble, too, Wiz.
No, no. I personally think this was for the best.
I'm sure she won't be lonely anymore.
I'm sure.
I'm begging you, please don't cause any more mischief.
Well, I need to tend to the shop, so I'll be heading back for the day.
Say hello to the others for me.
Yeah, thanks for coming.
Kazuma! Dinner's ready, so hurry back!
If you don't, your long-awaited lunch will get cold!
With this, I finally obtained
the down-to-earth lifestyle I most desired.
Got it. I'm on my way!
Aqua, we're out of wood for the fireplace.
Oh, then toss Kazuma's tracksuit over there onto the fire!
Don't!
I told you, don't try to burn my precious memories!
Knight Guidelines and Memorandum, Article 15 A knight must never lose their composure over trivial matters. Having a monster cast its black magic upon you, or being manipulated by obscene mental attacks and exposing your follies to your allies, are disgraceful acts. Also, in the unlikely event you feel sexually stimulated by such a situation, you must never behave as such. Knight or not, it is the lowest of interests you can have as a human being.
Episode 9
God's Blessing on This Wonderful Shop!
A knight must never lose their composure over trivial matters.
No matter how absurd the situation, they must never give in.
Even when faced with obscene mental attacks—